Thursday, 19 August 2010

Sir Marcus Dixby MBE today denied rumours that his daughter, Claire, the photogenic leader of Felpersham Students for Socialism, had been kidnapped. "No, no, no, no, no - she is studying hard at home" said the MD of British Pastoid Chemicals, "absolute tosh, I spoke with her just now and she is fine."
Rumours are rife at the College, still the subject of heavy police patrols and repair crews following the recent disturbances. A fellow student - identifying himself as "Stoat" said "Dixie hasnt been around at all, none of her mates have seen her and she has missed three FSS meetings this week. Ask the pigs man, its the violence inherent in the system."
Borchester CID had no comment, "we dont want to comment on this story at this time" said a spokesman.
Readers will remember British Pastoid Chemicals for more than the MD's remarkably pretty daughter; they were involved in financing the Bakonga Coup of 1968 and were linked to the mercenary activities of Major "Mad" Mike Bore. If Miss Dixby were to have been kidnapped perhaps the Police should look towards BPC's African dealings.

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