Sunday, 1 April 2012

Petrol Crisis.Government Send in Troops!


Troops takeover forecourts as petrol crisis spreads 


An Emergency Government spokesman has outlined operations underway to protect dwindling fuel supplies vital to the economy from terrorist attack. As a further measure, rationing of petrol at the pumps will begin at midnight tonight to "ensure the fair and even provision of petrol".

In an interview with the BBC, the Under Secretary for Trade announced that the rationing is also aimed at "the prevention of uneccessary hoarding and profiteering by unscrupulous individuals", whilst also allowing "those engaged in essential services such as doctors, nurses and firemen to be able to get to their place of work".

It was also announced that petrol prices will remain at 79p a gallon for 4 Star for all those working in the essential services, but rise to 89p for everyone else. In an effort to lessen the blow to motorist's wallets, double Green Shield Stamps will be offered with all petrol sales.

Whilst the Labour Party denounced the move as "Rich man's rationing", queues of cars started to form at garage forecourts from early in the morning. Many motorists ran out of petrol during the lengthy wait and had to resort to pushing their cars to the pumps.

Gerald Gibbon, 35, a civil servant, and one such motorist whose car ran out of petrol said, "Well, if they weren't putting the prices up, I wouldn't have had to sit in a queue for 3 hours and probably wouldnt have run out of petrol". Harriet Bells, 33, mother of two who had been queuing for two hours said "I've been stuck in this queue for 2 hours. My children should be at school not having to queue for petrol."

A sergeant from the Royal Corps of Logistsics whose unit had secured one of many petrol stations in the Midlands told reporters "My wife's a nurse. She needs a car because of her shifts. I bet many of these people could walk their kids to school or take the bus".

Shops have experienced a run on bread, milk and eggs amid fears that the fuel crisis and rationing will effect supplies of everyday groceries.


  1. 'Royal Corps of Logistics'? Surely you mean Royal Army Ordnance Corps', aka, 'The Blanket Stackers'.

  2. Double green shield stamps- priceless