Tuesday, 13 July 2010

The Semi-Professionals


Scene: A grotty bedsit; two young men - one, Cody (short dark hair) is sat on the bed, stripping and oiling a sten gun, the other Foyle (curly dark hair) is lounging on a sleeping bag on the floor reading "Chamber's Legal Primer vol 2". Both have handguns in shoulder holsters.
Foyle: Hey - when do I get to sleep on the bed?
Cody (smugly): You don't - we tossed for it and you lost.
Foyle: Yeah, well you had an unfair advantage
Cody: You mean my keen eye and dexterity?
Foyle: No, you're just a complete tosser
Cody points a finger at Foyle
Cody: Now, behave or I'll tell McTavish and he'll take your porno book off you.
Foyle just looks at Cody and goes back to his book
Cody: Soddit I'm bored - sure there's no smut in your book?
Foyle: Sure of it. You wait - I pack this in and I'm off to be a lawyer; maybe a Judge, end up in my court and you'll be in for a dose of porridge
Cody: Get stuffed - if we get done for that Securicor job, we'll be doing the time. Bang goes your legal career then mate
Foyle: I hate undercovers
Cody: Depends who you're under the covers with
Foyle: Tell me about it
Sharp rap on the door - both draw their handguns
Cody: If you're the landlord - we're out!
Door opens, in walks Mr McTavish - a greying Scotsman in a raincoat holding a carrier bag
McTavish: Guid Morning lads - you can put the guns away. Pshaw - is that smell you, Cody?
Cody : Nah, it's his cooking
Cody points to a hotplate in the corner - a pan steams menacingly
McTavish: What the crivens is it?
Foyle: Lamb tagine with apricots and chickpeas. Got the recipe from this Libyan bird, Leila, at the LSE
McTavish: Libyan heh? Is she cooperative?
Cody: Too right she is - he's knackered, a broken man, look at him. Oh no, he always looks like that
McTavish: Thats enough, Cody. Right, the lads and lasses at GCHQ picked up a phone call from the Headshed at Red Spike - they're doing the armed robberies to get funds to bail that mad trot Spart and then to get some more guns - AKs and the like
Foyle: Did they buy the fake Securicor blag?
McTavish: Och aye they did and all. They want to meet you pair.
Cody: Nice - we meet 'em, then we slot 'em?
McTavish: No. You meet them and let them recruit you. You tell us where they are hitting next, then the lads from Hereford slot them. Here's your in [he takes a pair of Skorpions from the carrier bag] they've been jarked so be careful with them. Now lose those shoulder holsters - you look like professionals.
Exit McTavish
Foyle looks at Cody.
Foyle: Undercover eh?
Cody: Tell me about it......

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